The Mental Game: 8 Crucial Mental Skills Parents Should Nurture in Youth Tennis Players

Most parents of young tennis players understand the importance of physical training, technical skills, and tactical knowledge. They drive to lessons, invest in equipment, and cheer from the sidelines.

But there's another dimension of development that's equally important yet often overlooked: the mental game.

As a performance psychologist who's worked with athletes across all levels, I've seen firsthand how mental skills can be the difference between a talented player who burns out and one who thrives under pressure.

The mental side of tennis is what separates good players from great ones. And for youth players, these skills are particularly crucial as they navigate the challenges of competition and development.

Here are the eight most important mental skills parents should help nurture in their young tennis players:

1. Focus and Attention Control

Young tennis players often struggle to maintain focus throughout an entire match. Their attention might drift to the scoreboard, spectators, or negative thoughts about previous points.

What parents can do:

• Help your child practice "bringing their attention back" to the present moment

• Encourage them to focus on one point at a time

• Avoid adding to distractions by maintaining your own calm presence courtside

Your demeanor on the sidelines directly impacts your child's ability to concentrate. When you demonstrate composure and quiet confidence, you create an environment where your child can develop their own attention skills without the added burden of managing your emotions too.

2. Emotional Regulation

Tennis is an emotional sport. One minute you're up, the next you're down. Youth players frequently struggle with managing frustration, anxiety, and even excitement.

What parents can do:

• Normalize emotions rather than criticizing them ("It's okay to feel frustrated")

• Model healthy emotional regulation yourself

• Help them develop simple techniques like deep breathing or positive self-talk to manage intense emotions

These emotional regulation tools become particularly valuable during high-pressure moments like tiebreakers or match points.

By practicing these techniques during training and lower-stakes matches, your child will develop emotional muscles that serve them in tennis and beyond. Remember that emotional regulation is a skill that improves with consistent practice, not an innate ability that some players simply "have."

3. Positive Self-Talk

The conversation young players have with themselves dramatically affects their performance. Negative self-talk like "I always miss that shot" can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What parents can do:

• Help them identify and challenge negative thought patterns

• Encourage realistic positive statements ("I can focus on this point")

• Avoid adding critical language that might become their internal voice

Remember, the words you use around your child often become the foundation of their internal dialogue. Young players who develop positive self-talk cultivate a powerful mental advantage that serves them through slumps, challenges, and the inevitable ups and downs of competitive tennis.

4. Resilience After Mistakes

Tennis guarantees mistakes—even the pros miss shots. How a player responds to errors often determines their success more than their technical ability.

What parents can do:

• Frame mistakes as learning opportunities

• Acknowledge effort over outcomes

• Help them develop a simple "reset routine" after errors (like adjusting strings or taking a deep breath)

These reset routines become powerful anchors during difficult moments, allowing your child to leave mistakes in the past and refocus on the present point. The most resilient players aren't those who never make errors—they're the ones who have mastered the art of moving forward quickly and constructively after mistakes occur. By helping your child develop this skill early, you're giving them a mental advantage that will serve them throughout their tennis journey and beyond.

5. Pre-Performance Routines

Consistent routines before matches and between points help players feel centered and prepared, regardless of external circumstances.

What parents can do:

• Help establish consistent pre-match rituals

• Encourage between-point routines that reset focus

• Support these routines by respecting their importance

Supporting these routines by respecting their importance shows your child that mental preparation deserves the same respect as physical training. When parents honor these routines rather than interrupting them with last-minute advice or rushing, players develop greater ownership of their mental approach to competition.

6. Visualization and Imagery

Mental rehearsal of successful performances builds confidence and prepares the mind and body for competition.

What parents can do:

• Encourage them to "see" themselves executing shots successfully

• Practice guided imagery sessions before important matches

• Use positive, specific language that helps them create mental images

The language you use with your child shapes the vivid mental images they create, so opt for specific, positive descriptions like "driving through the ball with a smooth follow-through" rather than vague instructions to "hit it better." These detailed mental pictures help young players develop a clear internal model of successful execution, bridging the gap between imagination and performance on court.

7. Goal Setting

Effective goals focus on process and improvement rather than just outcomes like winning.

What parents can do:

• Help them set specific, measurable goals for both practice and matches

• Focus more on performance goals ("I'll stay focused between points") than outcome goals

• Celebrate when process goals are met, regardless of the match result

When you celebrate your child's commitment to their process goals, you teach them that improvement and effort hold more lasting value than any single match outcome. This approach builds intrinsic motivation that sustains players through the inevitable ups and downs of competitive tennis, while reducing the performance anxiety that comes from an overemphasis on winning. Over time, players who focus on process goals tend to enjoy the sport more deeply and, ironically, often achieve better results as they master the controllable elements of their performance.

8. Unconditional Self-Worth

Perhaps most importantly, young players need to separate their value as a person from their performance on court.

What parents can do:

• Explicitly separate your love and support from tennis results

• Ask about enjoyment and effort more than wins and losses

• Show the same positive demeanor after both victories and defeats

The most powerful way to teach your child that their worth isn't tied to tennis results is through your consistent behavior after matches. When you maintain the same supportive presence—win or lose—you demonstrate that your love is truly unconditional, creating the psychological safety they need to take risks, bounce back from setbacks, and develop a healthy relationship with competition. This unwavering support becomes the foundation upon which they can build lasting confidence that transcends any single performance.

The Parent's Crucial Role

As a parent, you might recognize the importance of these skills but feel ill-equipped to teach them. That's completely normal—most parents haven't received formal training in sport psychology.

Here are three practical steps you can take:

1. Educate yourself. Take time to learn about mental skills training through books, podcasts, or online resources. The more familiar you are with these concepts, the better you can support your child.

2. Seek professional guidance. Consider working with a mental performance consultant who specializes in youth sports. Even a few sessions can provide valuable tools for both you and your child.

3. Create a supportive practice environment. Mental skills require practice, just like forehands and backhands. Help create opportunities for your child to practice these skills in low-pressure situations before applying them in competition.

Remember: mental skills aren't just about tennis performance—they're life skills that will serve your child well beyond the court. By nurturing these abilities, you're investing in their overall development and wellbeing.

The journey of a youth tennis player is filled with challenges, but with the right mental toolkit, they can navigate these hurdles with confidence and joy. And ultimately, isn't that what we want most for our children?

When you’re ready, there are 2 ways we can help you:

Sign up for 1:1 Coaching with Momentum Labs

Our mental performance coaching is designed to help your athlete thrive, on and off the field. Book your discovery call today.

Join Our Webinars

Each month, we host free webinars for parents and coaches to maximize the positive development of their youth athletes.